The One Where Everyone Sings
by Merlindamage
Summary: Just a bit of drabble. Harry sings. Dumbledore raps. Snape has a...goatee?


"The One Where Everyone Sings"

Harry lay in his bed. His head was resting upon his pillow, and a book lay open on his chest. The title of the book was "War and Peace".

"Wait," Harry interjected, sitting up. "Why would I be reading "War and Peace"? He asked.

"Um…cause that's the way I have it written," said the dejected author. He was saddened that Harry did not like the book.

"Do you really think I'd be caught reading this? I'm not Hermione or anything," Harry said, handing the book to the author.

"Well, fine then," the author began, pulling a notepad from his pocket. "I'll change it," He said. He began scribbling in the notepad in a very Umbridge like fashion. The book that Harry was carrying changed from "War and Peace" to "Advanced Potion Making".

"Potions?" Harry asked. "I'd rather read the other book," He sighed.

"Well, you asked me to change it. So, there it is," the author responded. "Now, where's Ron?"

"He and Hermione are practicing Romeo and Juliet for the school play," Harry responded, a tear falling from his eye.

"I feel a song coming on," the author stated. At that very moment, a piano, accompanied by soft drums began playing from nowhere.

"My friends have left me alone," Harry began singing. "I'm out here on my own. It used to be all smiles. Now, I have crocodile, tears," He finished, holding the last note.

"Well, wasn't that good, Potter," drawled a voice from behind them. Harry and the author turned to see Draco Malfoy standing behind them.

"I told you to be here sooner," the author commented, waving a finger in Malfoy's face.

"I would have been here before, but I was rehearsing in the play. I'm the wicked witch of the west," Malfoy said.

"Wait," Harry began. "There's no wicked witch in Romeo and Juliet."

"Potter, we go to a magical school. There's a wicked witch in everything," Malfoy said.

"Malfoy, what are you even doing in my dorm? You don't belong here," Harry said, reaching for his wand.

The music began playing again. This time it was much faster. "Who's playing that damn music?" the author asked, looking around wildly.

"Potter, I do what I want to," Malfoy began to sing.

"Malfoy, I hope a ghost will haunt you," Harry continued the duet.

"Potter with a big scar on his head, mess with me and you'll end up dead."

"I'm warning you Malfoy, I play no games. You and your father's fate will be the same," Harry sang.

"Harry," Ron tapped him on the shoulder.  
"What, Ron, Malfoy and I haven't reached the bridge yet," Harry said.

"Oh, alright then, continue on," Ron said, now standing next to the author.

Malfoy and Harry continued singing. Ron and the author continued watching in amazement, as Harry hit a high note that broke a window. Elsewhere in the castle, there were other conversations to be heard.

"Minnie, how do you think I'd look with a goatee?" Severus asked Minerva.

"You'd look even more like a hunk, you sexy beast," Minerva responded, pulling her wand. She muttered a spell and Severus instantly grew a goatee.

"I like it," He said, stroking it slowly.

"Me too," Minerva kissed him.

"Time to get some sleep," Severus responded, laying back in the bed.

Within minutes, Minerva was asleep. Severus watched her, and again, music came from nowhere and filled the room. Severus then broke into a rousing bout of Aerosmith's "I Don't Want To Miss A Thing"

He began singing slowly. "I could stay awake just to hear you breathing. Watch you smile while you are sleeping. While you're far away dreaming. I could spend my life in this sweet surrender. I could stay lost in this moment forever. Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure," He sang in his baritone voice.

Minerva turned, her back away from him. Severus stood, and took it up a bit, now getting to the chorus. "Don't want to close my eyes. I don't want to fall asleep .Cause I'd miss you baby. And I don't want to miss a thing .Cause even when I dream of you. The sweetest dream will never do. I'd still miss you baby. And I don't want to miss a thing."  
After he was done singing, Minerva turned to him. "Did you say something, dear?" She asked.

"No," He said, smiling softly.

Now, somewhere else in the castle, someone else was making music of their own.

Albus Dumbledore stood, staring at the portraits on the wall of his office. This was not the same Albus Dumbledore was used to. He didn't have on long robes. He was wearing baggy jeans, and a basketball jersey that dropped down to his knees.

"Oh, no," said one of the portraits. "He's going to rap, again."

Dumbledore grabbed his crotch in a rather thuggish fashion and began waving his hands in a side to side motion.

"Oh yeah," He started. "It's your boy. O.G. Dumbledore is in the hizz-ouse. My name is Albus, and I'm the best. Last name Dumbledore better than the rest. I like lemon tarts, sometimes I fart, and I know that Voldemort has no heart. I run this here magic school, and everything is, cool," He finished. He crossed his arms over his shoulders. "Word to your mother."

The day continued on. Students were singing all over the place. Finally, at the end of the day, at the feast that night, Dumbledore decided to address the school.

"Hello everyone," He began. "I know you all have noticed that everyone has been singing. Now, we the staff have a message. Severus, take it away."

Severus stood. He hit his glass with his fork so that he could find his note. He finally found it.  
"We will be singing "My Heart Will Go On" by the muggle singer, Celine Dion," He said.

"Every night in my dreams. I see you, I feel you, that is how I know you go on," Severus sang softly. "Far across the distance, and spaces between us, you have come to show you go on."

Hagrid, Minerva, and tiny Professor Flitwick, then took the chorus. "Near, far, wherever you are, I believe that the heart does go on. Once more you open the door, and you're here in my heart and my heart will go on and on," They sang. Their voices sounded very strange together.

Professor Dumbledore stood, and was about to continue on with the next verse when the author stood.

"Professor," He began, "this is all very good and well, but can we get this moving on?"

"I beg your pardon sir, but, who are you?" Dumbledore asked.

"I am the author of this work of fan fiction," He said. "So, now, I think that this song is boring. Can we move on?"

Dumbledore nodded.

The author began scribbling once more. The scene changed around them, and appearing from nowhere came Dolores Jane Umbridge. It was now just her and Dumbledore staring at one another, in his office.

"Dumbly pop, my love," she began. "I've missed you so much."

"Sir," Albus turned to the author, who was watching them with a smile on his face, "I do not believe that we are dating. She and I are not together," he said.

The author looked at the old man, thinking. "Um…um…Line," He said finally.

"Cut, cut, yelled the direction from his chair, getting up and walking to the author. "Merlin, baby, we need more from you. Put your heart into it. The line is "just do it the way its written," the director said.

The author nodded.

The director sat back down in his chair. "Okay, "Harry Potter and the Author's Mistake", take two. Action."


End file.
